I’ve been absent here, partly out of busy-ness, partly out of paralysis. I think I’m having a quarter-life crisis.

This past year has been filled with wonder and challenge. I’ve found myself inside the realm of fatherhood and further along with my vocation of writing. But now, more than ever, I don’t know what to do with my life. The village and a careful budget are allowing us to live happily now, but what next? We have dreams of a house and a bit of land, a place to stay for a while. And yet, neither Elie or I have aspirations for a job that will earn much of anything.

I’m a hard worker—resourceful and creative. Though, I typically refuse to accept the status quo, which often exaggerates the problem: most of my passions aren’t worth much money in this world.

I’ve been dreading the stress of the unwanted job, especially since I have known meaningful and enjoyable work. This worry has kept me up many nights and the answers are slow in coming.

What do I love doing that people will pay me for?

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I came across these amazing maps recently, a geological study of historical flood patterns of the Mississippi Meander Belt by Harold Fisk. The incredibly varied paths, each in a different color, look like a rainbow on drugs. (Or a rainbow that refused the status quo).

I’ve never been worried about the long run. I don’t see that worry starting up now. And I suppose it is nice to think of an established river being kind of manic, having run more courses than we can know. My map is barely started, but already looks like a young Mississippi whose potential certainly ignores the banks. Something will work out. It always does.

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Meanwhile, I’ve received my contributor copies of the current issues of Cincinnati Review and Prairie Schooner—you can read and hear the poems here, and be sure to let me know what you think.

p.s.—if you are in Seattle, I’ll be reading at the Richard Hugo House this Thursday, Dec. 3rd at 7pm. I am a brand new Writer-in-Residence at Children’s Hospital with Seattle Arts & Lectures’ Writer’s in the Schools program and I’ll be sharing the stage with a few other current residents.