Yesterday afternoon I stood around with a few old friends and a bunch of people I didn’t know, inhaling the free hors d’oeuvres, sipping on a glass of wine, all the while thinking that there has to be a better way to do this. This being welcoming a new group of people into community. The awkward mixer, as I’ve dubbed it, was for the new students joining the MFA program at the University of Washington. Held in a large room of the faculty club, people stand around eyeing each other wondering who the other is and how to start conversation. Someone walks up to join a small circle and inevitably interrupts whatever ever slight flow the conversation had. The introductions begin again and bump, someone walks away or a new person moves in.

It wasn’t too far from a middle school dance—where to put your hands and eyes was always the question.

This year I had the benefit of knowing professors and several peers, but even those interactions left me feeling unsatisfied. It was simply too hard to have any conversation without being interrupted or briefly stranded, alone, in between the food and the crowd. It was like a miniature high school reunion stumbled upon by accident. It was like stumbling upon an accident. Curious, a bit unnerving and ultimately something to be avoided.

I wouldn’t complain, but I don’t think it would actually be hard to “break the ice” as it were and facilitate connections and a sense of community. That job should fall to the organizers of the event, but writers and writing professors are a jumble of insecurities. After all, we spend a lot of time in isolation working on our craft…and the notion of a writing community takes time and work to get used to.

Those of us who have been around have plans to make up for yesterday’s shortfall. We’ve worked hard to establish a sense of community with its own dynamics and identity and we want it to continue. At the same time, I’m prepping myself for the next round of awkwardness as I’ve already forgotten most of the names I learned yesterday. Onward, with—if nothing else—feigned confidence.